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Through the medium of John’s artistry, each creation acts as a key, unlocking the chambers of the subconscious mind, allowing for a methodical revelation of the intricate tapestry of inner experiences and emotions, one masterpiece at a time.
This video serves as a comprehensive guide for individuals charged under Penal Code 290, providing valuable insights for both attorneys and clients.
Lecture on Fantasies
At The Behaviorist Counseling Services, we believe that everyone has the potential to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life. Our counseling and Insight services are designed to help modify behavior through insight. When an individual learns when and where they learned their outdated beliefs/scripts, this presents them with awareness. Aw
At The Behaviorist Counseling Services, we believe that everyone has the potential to lead a fulfilling and meaningful life. Our counseling and Insight services are designed to help modify behavior through insight. When an individual learns when and where they learned their outdated beliefs/scripts, this presents them with awareness. Awareness presents one with choices, they can continue down the same path fully of where the consequences will take them, for some to prison, for others towards an out-of-control behavior, Awareness allows an individual to choose an alternate path that does not violate the law, boundaries, morals, ethics, or unspoken rules.
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Good afternoon, and welcome to today’s discussion on the allure of fantasies. Fantasies are the canvas for our deepest desires, painting vivid pictures of what we yearn for in life. Let us explore some common daydreams:
• Imagining the thrill of winning a $500 million lottery jackpot.
• Dreaming of sports stardom, perhaps as a player for the Chargers.
• Envisioning the purchase or construction of an ideal home.
• Landing that coveted, high-paying dream job.
• Taking the wheel of the latest Corvette model.
• The pride of graduating from college.
• Striking it rich at Bingo or in the vibrant casinos of Las Vegas.
• Planning an extravagant wedding celebration.
• Striking it lucky with a scratch-off ticket.
I recall the buzz in November 2018 when the National Lottery soared to a staggering $1.5 billion. The nation was abuzz, queues snaking around convenience stores. An eager newscaster at a local 7-Eleven was met with a wave of hopeful grins. Inquiring about the long wait, one patron’s anthem of quitting his job in victory echoed, sparking laughter and a chorus among the crowd “Take this job and shove it because I ain’t working here no more.” This sentiment, it seemed, topped everyone’s list, including the newscasters. Another hopeful shared dreams of homes, travel, and family fortune.
What would I do with such a windfall?
My fantasy includes a sprawling residence with five bedrooms, five bathrooms, a vast garage, a sleek sports car, and a robust Hummer. A luxurious pool would glisten in the sun, and trips to New York City to bask in the glow of Broadway would be a must.
As for charitable donations, I am hesitant. While I would support my local zoo and fund college scholarships, I’m concerned about ensuring the money reaches those truly in need, avoiding misuse by individuals or organizations. My priority is to aid those whose survival depends on such support.
Well, there are rules to fantasizing. “Rules?” I once heard a man say fantasies are one's private thoughts, and it’s no one’s business, and besides they’re just fantasies it’s not real.
But when should it be someone else’s business?
let’s clarify that statement:
Fantasies often operate within a personal realm, governed by an individual’s imagination. “Rules?” one might question, as it is commonly believed that fantasies are private musings, beyond the scrutiny of others, and ultimately, without consequence in reality.
However, the question arises: When do these private thoughts become a matter of concern for others? The answer lies in the impact these fantasies may have. If they remain harmless daydreams, they are indeed nobody’s business. But if they potentially infringe upon the rights or well-being of others, or if they indicate a deeper psychological issue that could lead to real-world actions, then they transition from being private fantasies to matters of public interest and ethical consideration. It is at this juncture that fantasies extend beyond mere thought and warrant attention from a broader perspective.
But what crosses the line?
Let us examine a scenario where an individual might exploit a fantasy to fulfill their most extravagant desires.
How about if your neighbor’s fantasy was to kidnap your 6-year-old daughter, rape her, and then butcher her alive. It is just a fantasy Isn’t it? His own private fantasy and it is no one’s business, right?
This is quite a distorted fantasy, and I do not know about you, but this scares me, and begs the question when does a fantasy become a plan?
Are you rethinking your position on rules?
How about during sex? Is it permissible to engage in fantasies?
After hearing about the psychopath’s fantasy, you might want to reconsider your initial affirmative stance.
Let us ponder further into ethical dilemmas.
Is it appropriate for a married person to partake in suggestive dialogues online with others? Furthermore, what consequences might arise if such a suggestive message is received on one’s personal device and then read by their spouse? Could this situation result in breaches of trust, invasions of privacy, and transgressions of established relationship boundaries?
How about you or your significant other fantasizing during sex to obtain a powerful orgasm? Is this cheating?
The challenge with sexual fantasizing is rooted in the brain’s incapacity to discern between tangible experiences and imagined scenarios. The amygdala, which plays a pivotal role in processing emotions, fails to make this distinction. Consequently, fantasies are assimilated into an individual’s repository of past experiences. The subconscious mind, drawing from this reservoir, may then influence current actions and decisions.
Consider the ramifications of fantasizing about extreme acts of violence, such as bringing a weapon to school to confront bullies or committing a mass shooting at a public event. These are grave concerns that necessitate serious reflection.
However, not all fantasies are of a violent or deviant nature. For instance, envisioning the creation of a restaurant, complete with detailed interior designs and ambiance, is a form of constructive fantasizing that opens up a world of possibilities. Such positive fantasies can lead to affirmative self-dialogue, allowing one to visualize themselves as part of the final outcome.
I have personally harnessed the power of fantasizing and positive self-talk. Upon completing my first college course, I began to dream about obtaining my associate degree in arts. I could vividly picture myself graduating in front of family and peers. This recurring fantasy became a motivational force throughout my academic journey. I even reserved a space in my portfolio for my anticipated graduation, reinforcing my vision every time I viewed it. Ultimately, my aspirations were realized when I graduated from Coastline Community College with an AA in arts. This initial vision fueled my ambition, driving me to earn 14 AA degrees, an AS degree, and a bachelor’s degree in psychology.
Is there a distinction between a fantasy and a vision?
According to Merriam-Webster, a fantasy involves the creative act of conjuring up ideas, whereas a vision is the mental image one constructs within their mind. Though the distinction may seem nuanced, it is significant.
The essence of my argument is that by engaging in fantasy, one can maintain focus and direction, transforming dreams into reality.
But what about using a fantasy to enhance your sexual climax? Is it wrong? Is it cheating on your significant other?
Let us say your sex has just become boring, or your significant other is beginning to fight gravity, and your body is sagging everywhere. Alone, or combined either one of these has the propensity to lead to a diminished climax or no climax.
While role-playing and fantasy can be harmless and even beneficial in rekindling passion, it is important to establish clear boundaries. Here are some guidelines to consider:
• Refrain from fantasizing about individuals you encounter in your daily life, such as employees at
local establishments.
• Avoid fantasies involving neighbors or acquaintances.
• It is inappropriate to fantasize about relatives of your partner.
• Do not entertain fantasies about your employer.
• Steer clear of fantasies about colleagues.
• Avoid revisiting past relationships through fantasy.
• It is unacceptable to fantasize about minors.
The subconscious mind’s inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy can lead to a reliance on increasingly unrealistic and potentially harmful fantasies to achieve sexual satisfaction. This could inadvertently set unrealistic expectations and diminish the intimacy shared with one’s partner.
For example: The more distorted the sexual fantasy, the likelihood of a powerful orgasm. This has a propensity to create a conditioned response. Meaning the next time that you have sex with your significant other, you will go automatically back to that distorted fantasy so you can get that powerful orgasm again. Should these fantasies lose their initial appeal, there is a tendency to modify the imagined behaviors to intensify the experience.
Distorted fantasies, distort reality, creating exaggerated and unrealistic images that do not align with the truth. For instance, one might imagine their male boss with exaggerated physical traits, such as his Phallus, being a foot long and having an overly muscular physique, which could lead to intense sexual climax. However, these mental constructs do not reflect the individual’s appearance, which may include a less-than-average build and a lifestyle not dedicated to physical fitness.
Consider a scenario where an individual engages in intimate relations three times weekly and, over the past month, has consistently entertained fantasies about another person. These fantasies often highlight capabilities that they perceive their partner lacks. Such a pattern of thought can potentially impact one’s romantic relationship, fostering a sense of dissatisfaction and the erroneous belief that their partner is inadequate. This may lead to the contemplation of seeking a new partner who aligns more closely with these unrealistic expectations and desires.
One last scenario: Let us say you have been fantasizing about the hot chick at the local convenience store for the past month and she allows you to do whatever you like in your distorted fantasy. Just what do you think will happen the day you go into the Convenience store, and she is standing at the register?
Your sympathetic nervous system is going to kick in and, you may experience a physiological response akin to sexual arousal. Nevertheless, it is important to recognize that this real-life chick does not reciprocate your feelings and has no interest in you. But you love her, and the affection you feel is rooted in a fantasy that has inadvertently shaped your perception, leading to a deep-seated but illusory emotional attachment. This phenomenon occurs because the amygdala--the part of the brain responsible for emotional reactions--cannot distinguish between actual experiences and your distorted fantasy scenarios that you have been playing out all month long. Consequently, repeated fantasizing paired with sexual gratification can condition one to believe in the reciprocation of these feelings, which is not the case. It is for this reason that adhering to guidelines against such fantasizing is crucial, as it prevents the development of intense emotions based on falsehoods, which can be disconcerting when faced with reality.
Who might be the subject of your Sexual fantasies? Consider the following possibilities:
• An actor or actress on TV.
• A passerby on the sidewalk.
• Someone you sat next to on an airliner.
• Someone you have seen on vacation.
The essence of such musings is that they often involve individuals whom you are unlikely to meet again.
What about the internet? Is it cheating to create a fantasy character and play sex acts? It’s not like I’ll ever meet or see this person in real life.
Illusions of the Heart: The Perils of Online Fantasies
While at a state correctional facility in California, I met Chris, a young man of 18 years. Out of curiosity, I asked about the circumstances leading to his imprisonment. He recounted that at the age of 14, he encountered a 16-year-old girl in an online chat room. They would converse daily, post-school hours, sharing details of their day, personal interests, and eventually, their physical descriptions. This routine nurtured a bond between them, despite the geographical distance--Chris residing in California and the girl near the Great Lakes. Their relationship deepened to the extent that their exchanges began and ended with expressions of longing and affection.
On a particular day, Chris expressed a desire to deepen their connection and proposed-computer sex. They could both take turns speaking erotically while the other person fantasizes and masturbates. She agreed to the idea, and they alternated in their dialogue. In due course, their interactions became more frequent, occurring two to three times daily. Chris developed profound feelings for her and expressed a wish to meet in person. He proposed a visit during his summer break, to which she responded that she would need to consult her parents. Upon inquiry about his potential accommodations, Chris suggested staying at her residence, pending her parents’ approval. The following day, she conveyed her parents’ consent for his visit, with the stipulation that he would not enter her bedroom and would instead sleep in her brothers’ room. Chris agreed to these conditions.
Chris approached his parents with a request for a plane ticket, hoping to visit a girl he had met online. His parents, concerned for his safety and skeptical of the idea, refused to endorse such a journey. Frustrated and impassioned, Chris argued vehemently and left the house in anger. Deeply infatuated with the girl, he resolved to find a way to meet her, despite his parents’ disapproval.
Determined to gather the necessary funds, Chris planned to burglarize his neighbors’ home. He waited for the opportune moment when they departed, then armed himself with his father’s pistol--not with the intent to harm, but to deter any potential confrontation. Concealing his identity with a ski hat, he broke into their home through a rear window. Inside, he found a substantial amount of money and was preparing to leave when the homeowners unexpectedly returned. In the ensuing panic, as he attempted to flee, Chris fired the gun blindly, hoping to scare off the pursuing husband. Tragically, one of the shots hit the man.
Despite wearing a mask, Chris was recognized by the wife, who called out Chris’s name in shock. Chris escaped through the window and discarded the stolen money on his roof before taking a long walk to evade the approaching sirens. Upon returning home, he was confronted with the news of the man’s death and was soon arrested by the police, who had gathered ample evidence against him.
Under interrogation, Chris explained his motive: to visit the girl he loved. The investigation led the FBI to the girl’s residence, where they discovered she was a 55-year-old woman impersonating a teenager. She denied any knowledge of Chris’s plans. Despite the extensive emotional correspondence found on her computer, she faced no legal repercussions.
Chris, on the other hand, was sentenced to 30 years to life in prison. The case highlighted the complex issues surrounding online relationships and the vulnerability of young individuals to manipulation.
Chris’s experience was rooted in an imagined reality. Despite never having met or spoken to the woman, his mind constructed an illusory persona based on her self-descriptions, which were equally fictitious. Recall the earlier discussion about the amygdala’s inability to distinguish between actual experiences and fabrications. Revisiting the initial inquiry: Is it deceitful to fabricate a character for sexual role-play online? In Chris’s case, the fantasy held tangible significance, compelling him to pursue his perceived love without regard for the consequences. The words we exchange and the roles we enact can indeed reshape our behaviors and those of others. Fantasies, while intangible, have the power to invoke genuine emotions and behavioral changes, akin to those elicited by real-life interactions. Hence, one might argue that engaging in sexual fantasies online could be considered unfaithful, even if the parties involved never physically meet. This perspective, however, is subjective. I welcome your thoughts on this matter.
Final thoughts
Fantasies liberate us from the mundane, breaking the shackles of societal norms and laws. Yet, where do we draw the line? Despite the private nature of fantasies, there are indeed unspoken rules. They remain harmless until they infringe upon the rights and safety of others.
So, when do private thoughts become a public concern? When they harbor the potential for harm. It’s a delicate balance, one that requires us to tread carefully between imagination and reality. Fantasies can be a source of inspiration and motivation, but they must always be tempered with respect for the well-being of others.
This concludes the discourse on the impact of fantasies.
Thank you.
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